FerXe LoLa

depressed.. tired.. i hate my working place.. some ppl are just sux.. i hate the fact that he’s leaving soon.. eventhough it’s for our future.. i still hate the feeling.. we pratically 24/7 for the past 1 and a half year.. it’s gonna be really hard.. really2 hard.. gosh.. i wish i could come with u b.. sob sob..sgt sedey.. i wish i could say that all those thing that we’ve planned for the future doesnt matter anymore.. i just want "you"…can i?

the  engagement is gonna happen in three weeks times.. my mum wants us to be engaged b4 my redzuan left to australia..hmm.. 6 months seems to be extremely long time for me..i definitely have to take driving license a.s.a.p.. i want to be able to pick u up from airport when u reach kl soon..b.. i’m gonna miss u soooooooooooooooooo much..

today our office have been up and down…everybody da gelabah when the words spread pasal our boss kena transfer pg centre lain… dem, he’s the nicest boss anyone could had la.zul la boss paling sporting skali.. to bad he’s gonna replaced by a woman boss.. urghh.. benci btol boss perempuan.. whatever la,as if i’m  going to stay there forever… cant wait to finish my studies. susah benar nak mengabiskan belajar nie..

hopefully bole transfer pg broadband team… senang sket kerja 9 to 5 nie.. banyak mase nak buat personal stuff..today, i enroll myself for the world martial arts centre… redzuan da bising suh belajar kick boxing… i should my learn for self defense…lagipon ada dance class as well… yea….i’m not a fan of all those martial arts thingy..

     being in a customer service wear my patience off lately…makin lama, makin kurang penyabar plak aku nie…today itself, mcm nak menjerit kat customer cina bongok tue…  na k pakai blackberry, tapi tak tau pakai.. jgn la beli kalau xnak belajar pakai blackberry..ape die ingat maxis nie kedai belajar pakai phone agak nye…moral of the day… belajar la pakai telepon sendiri… jgn sampai nak type sms pon org nak ajar…

"Just Like Water"

[Verse 1]
Moving down the streams of my lifetime
Pulls the fascination in my sleeve
Cooling off the fire of my longing
Boiling off my cold within his heat
Melting down the walls of inhibition
Evaporating all of my fears
Baptizing me into complete submission
Dissolving my condition with his tears

[Chorus]
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years

[Verse 2]
Coursing through my senses, he’s prevailing
Floating through the space of my design
Drowning me to find my inside sailing
Drinking in the mainstream of his mind
Filling up the cup of my emotions
Spilling over into all I do
If I only I could get lost in his ocean
Surviving on the thought of loving you

[Chorus]
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years
He’s just like the water, the water
I ain’t felt this way in years

[Verse 3]
Bathing in the fountain of his essence
He causes my expression to remain
Humbled on a mountain by his presence
Washing my intentions with his name
Sealing off the floodgates of his passions
Saving all his liquid for his own
Moisturizing me to satisfaction
In my imagination? No no!
He’s pouring out his soul to me for hours and hours
Drawing out my nature with his hands
Yearning I’m so thirsty for his power
Burning to be worthy of his land

[Chorus]
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years
He’s just like the water
I ain’t felt this way in years

[Ad Libs Remainder]
Cleaning me
He’s purging me
And moving me around
He’s bathing me
And he’s claiming me
And moving me around
Around and around and around
And around
Watching me, claiming me
Moving me around
He’s purging me
He’s been cleaning me
And moving me around
And ar

baby… this song is dedicated  to you…  love you from the bottom of my heart…

today is the Merdeka Day..and yet i’m working today….. a lot have been goin on for past few month… with the resignation of some of my best colleagues in Maxis… i just moved to ampang with my frens..plus the BIG DAY confirmation form both families… =)  too much pain and too much love to embrace.. yet.. there he is standing by my sides..for good and for worse..

         Just came back from langkawi last two weeks… it’s been a wonderful time..i would be the happiest person on earth being in Langkawi… yup… it’s a chocolate Heaven.. practically I have chocolate for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper… even wan cannot stop me from doing that… yup, baby… you’re such a darling… muah muah for u.. i learn how to play chinese poker and i addicted to it… hahah… blame it to abe n wan… i love every second of our trip at the langkawi… you guys make it happen… and it will be the last trip we gonna have until the BIG DAY..sob sob… mebi,our next BIG trip will be in phuket or australia.haha berangan je la.. keeping our finger cross till then..

             a lot of things  to take care of.. wan decided i have to finish of what i left of my studies in UNITEN… finally..someone care about my needs…what do i do without u baby…i love every laugh we share, every fight we have, every tears we drop and just everything ayang…those simple things that you’ve done just makes me loves u more and more every day.eventhough u can be pain in the ass sumtimes but u still rock my boat baby…. hahahha… being extra lovey dovey mood today..

     liz, tommorow is ur convo. so sorry i cannot make it.. i got things to do with my mum..maybe we can meet up at my ( which is yours also ) birthday party kn…..it’s al

hurmmm… how do u measure whether u are compatible with other ppl… ur frens, ur loved ones.. ever seen a pair of two frens that are totally different, like u cant even think of these two guys or girls can be best buddies.. but yet they are.. totally click.. same goes with two lovers that definitely catch ppl’s attention… a beauty and a beast perhaps…yea,sumtimes ppl said that u need the syncronisation to click,the same hobbies, same interest, same attitude… but somehow i feel the opposite thing..

it’s a been awhile..it seems that i have no time to do anything.. works really take over life..i really need sumthing to refresh myself.. no time for exercising, socialising.. sum more now farah’s pregnant so we decided to have a break on our social life..works can be really stressful, with the presence of the bloody execs..dem,one week to tioman doesnt seem enuff for us..waaaa,i really miss tioman.. free from work, free from pressure,free from our parents ( erkk.. ), free from the worlds perception.. totally free..can wait for the next trip…

ever think about fixed marriage? what do you think..do you think that fixed marriage works in our times.. yeah, maybe it works in our grandmother’s time  but i dont think that it’s practical in this era..marrying sumone that you dont even know… what’s their habits, their history, who are their frens,what are their likes and dislikes.eventhough the idea meeting a new guy, totally good guy ( as per our parent think they is la…) still not working for me.. looks can be deceiving though..but, are those kind of "good man" still exist.. i doubt that..he could be a loser then.. big time loser cos he needs his mommy to get him a chick … hehehe.. for the guy, it could a bonus for them, since they’ll definitely get  so called ‘ futurewife’ yg really2 innocent..purely ‘virgin’..not exposed to the polluted enviroment.. the type yg memang x kuar umah punye.. staying with the parent all the times..so they dont have to worry that the future wife will do anything nasty.. hehehe..no offense la..mebi it works to some ppl..

this is the first entry for the new year..so long 2006..so long all those bad memories..welcome to the year 2007..hopely this 2007 would be the gud starting point of my new life..new job,new crowds,new environment,and definitely a new me…ok..not really a new me.. just considering all of those ppl said that i totally look different now.. it’s like a different person..hehe..ye ke…it’s gud compliment though..

     dem,i am so sakit kepala rite now..mcm hang over plak..i just drank orange juice last nite..hell of a gud time.. i got the best dressed award though.. hehe,the last thing to expect..thanks for all the support from klcc staff..elle and finas..suara yang paling kuat jerit kat bawah.. luv u guys.muah.klcc staff,eventhough we didnt win the best performance,we still rock.. hehe..continue the party at hotel melia with all dressed up to kill.. haha.. kelakar la plak.. watching nrg.. hell of a fun.. with all the boss and execs..arrive home at 4am and working the morning shift today.. da mcm zombie da..hehe..what matters is the fun..and the rice cooker i won…haha..x kesahla..i didnt expect it in the first place..

damn mengantuk la… i only slept for one and a half hour only…even wan buat wat wake up call pon x sedar…btw, thanks wan… for ur effort to call me… hehe.. eventhough aku tido mcm org gile…lucky terkejut kul 7.30… kalau tak, x pegi kerja la jawapnye aku hari nie..suprised to see all those yg balik lambat seme nye datang kerja pagi nie…

       dem,mengantuk nye… penat gle plak tue… da mcm stoned plak.. melayang je rase kpale…one big lesson lah i learnt today..dont ever think to go out late and work in the morning shift the next day… mcm org mabuk la deyy…da kna gelak ngan adreen, madi seme.. bodoh btol…hahaa… watever..today,planning to finish work early… nak tido sampai pagi esok.,..tapi, takut plak nak balik… macam mane nak mengadap my mum..smalam balik umah.. she was sleeping on the couch, with the big clock in front of her… eheheh.. pandai2 la nak idop…pandai buat,pandai tanggungla….

so dem mengantuk…nyesal datang kerja awal… tido kat umah lagi elok… =)

A - Available: hurmm.. yup =)
A - Age: 19 ( + 4… hahahaha.. 23  years old )
A - Annoyance: bossy n self centered ppl

B - Best Friend: chicas..
B - Beer: i hate the smell..makes me wanna puke
B - Birthday: 5th september 1983

C - Crush: justin timberlake,jon johnson,n richeal gimbang..heheh.. hot.. hot…
C - Car: savvy
C - Candy: nyum nyum…

D - Day or night: night kt
D - Dream Car: honda city idsi…
D - Dog or cat: meoww..

E - Easiest person to talk to: chicas
E - Eggs: my mum home made telur dadar
E - Email: jasmine_cycnic5@yahoo.com
F - Favorite Months: none in particular.. not even september
F - Favorite colors: white,red n black
F - Favorite Memory: it turned out as my worst memory..

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: none.. i hate jellies
G - Giver or taker: giver..
G - Gum: bubble yumm

H - Hair Color: plain black
H - Height: 5 feet 2
H - Happy: for the time being… yup

I - Ice Cream: cheesie blueberry  n chocolate heaven
I - Instrument: thinking of taking guitar classes since i cant learn alone
I - Idol: my beloved mum

J - Jewelry: urghhh
J - Job: tiring…no time for myself anymore
J - Jail: i keep myself out of trouble..

K - Kids: i hate kids… urghhh
K - Kickboxing or karate: neither
K - Kindergaten: tadika kemas

L - Longest Car Ride:trip to langkawi… pergh.. nak muntah

L - Longest relationship: 2 years..
L - Last person you imel: tatoosk8…

M - Milk - i hate it when my mum make me drink those

M - Most missed person(s): my late grandfather..n my frens
M - Movie Last Watched: heart… itupun half way da tido..

N - Number of Siblings: 3
N - Number of Tattoos: 0
N - Name: my late grandfather named me fadzilah,my family call me by the name along..but my frens called me xexe..

O - ONE WISH: unlimited cash and time for myself
O - One Phobia: rollercoaster
O - One regret: mistakes are not regret.. we are meant to learn those..i have no regret

P - Pet : i have lots of kucing..
P - Part of your appearance you like best : none
P - Part of your Personality you like best: easy going..

Q - Quick or Slow: depends
Q - Quailman: no idea wat are you talking about
Q - Quiet or Loudmouth: i can be both

R - Reason to smile: no one will know ur sorrow..
R - Reality TV Show: america’s next top model
R - Reasons to cry: too much too mention

S - Song Last Heard: cokelat - bila jarak memisahkan
S - Season: malaysia xde season la..
S - Shoe: cortez

T - Time you woke: 6.45am
T - Time Now: 5.27
T - Time for bed: definitely not more than 12am

U - U love someone: nope
U - Unpredictable: my feelings rite now..
U - Underwear: notty2

V - Vegetable you hate: all of them
V - Vegetable you love: none
V - Vacation spot: balik kampung mandi sg..

W- Water flavor: milo ais
W- Where are you going to travel next: looking forward for next mozac2k get2 getha
W- Weather right now: windy

X - X-Rays: five years ago
X - X-Rated Porn : hahahaha

Y - Year you were born: 1983
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: the themes colour for my uncle wedding… looking forward to it

Z - Zoo Animal: bears
Z - Zodiac: virgo
Z - Zoolander: x penah tgk pun…

FIVE YEARS AGO

> How many piercings do you have?: 1

> How many tattoos?: zero

> What is your biggest fear: lost my family,unemployed,broke..

> Have you been arrested since? : i dont think so

> Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: bitter